She's making a List

As Christmas is vastly approaching I thought it only appropriate to make my list and check it twice!

!. Finish Christmas Shopping.

2. Wrap the presents, I need motivation here people.

3. Create elaborate baked goods for the neighbors. No time like the present to become a baker.

4. Complete a 35 page scrapbook for my friends daughter. No small task.

5. Cruise over to Las Vegas for 2 days with Brian's Family. Black Jack here I come.

6. Buy lots of food in case there is a famine. What is the expiration date for frozen pizzas?

7. Get my years supply of Dr. Pepper. There really could be a shortage, just ask Guns N Roses.

8. Purchase an expensive purse and wallet from Coach. Hey someone has to stimulate the economy!

9. Buy a hand gun. I need to be able to protect the new purse and Brian's personal electronics, a sub-division of Best Buy and Ultimate Electronics.

10. Fill a syringe with Holly Jolly Christmas and inject it into the cranky people in line at the stores. Okay this is the nurse in me, not to be mistaken for evidence of my experience with drug abuse.

11. Exercise! I am doing a sprint triathlon May 9th, have I got work to do!

I have checked my list twice and a few things are abundantly clear!! I will never be ready in time. I will immediately remove exercise from the list, isn't that what everyone does. I can certainly wait till January 1st to exercise, isn't that what New Year's resolutions are for? Down with Baking, everyone who knows me realizes this was a pipe dream. Store food later, there will always be another time to create food storage, right? Not very Noah of me. I suppose Coach will have to be postponed. In the spirit of giving I will let the chic in the Mercedes have my $6000 Sabrina Ostrich this year! I really should let my husband wrap all the presents, it brings him such joy, and after all practice makes perfect. And Seriously, who needs a scrapbook?

Oh good now my list is far more manageable!

Where does that leave me?

1. Shopping.
2.Vegas.
3. Dr. Pepper.
4. Gun.
5. Syringe of Jolly.

Glad to see all of the essentials will be taken care of this holiday season. Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry Christmas!

I will fade out with the abridged lyrics of Need A Little Christmas

Yes, we need a little Christmas right this very minute...

For we need a little music
Need a little laughter
Need a little singing
Ringing through the rafter
And we need a little snappy
"Happy ever after"
Need a little Christmas now