Are You in the Driver's Seat?

No matter what I do this week, the seven days will come and go. At the end of the seven days what will have changed? What will I have accomplished? So many things seem out of my control. Certain messes will be made. Clothes will be dirtied. Floors must be vacuumed. Dishes must be washed. Sick people must be cared for at the hospital. Exercising must be done if weight is to be lost and triathlon is to be trained for.

It is very easy to think, who is in the driver's seat of my life? Time passes so quickly. Children get older. Day comes to an end whether I carefully counted calories or chugged Dr. Pepper's two at a time! Yes, with so many responsibilities and essential tasks of the day, it seems reasonable to think, I am not the driver of my car. It infuriates me when I think I have no control over my life's work.


Oh wait. That's right. I have been down this road before. I do know the answer to this reoccurring question. Who is driving? It is me. It is always me! Even if I am behind the wheel talking on my cell phone, while absentmindedly driving the wrong direction on a one way street. I may not even realize that I am traveling in the wrong direction! Even if I do not consciously recognize the decisions I am making, they are still being made.


Sometimes my inner voice tells me to cut corners. I fell .5 miles into our 5.5 mile run and sprained my ankle pretty good, the inner voice said "Oh you're injured, you should just quit." I knew that I needed to dig deep and find the fortitude to carry on. The ankle would swell regardless, why sacrifice the joy of accomplishment too? Dixie even ran an additional 2 miles along side me, subtly increasing my pace. We can do way more than we give ourselves credit.


I loved that time period from about age 15 to 22. Every opportunity was available. No mountain was too high. Every day offered multiple opportunities for fun. Any career lay just ahead, the road map was available, and could be followed with the proper discipline and attention to the signs.


It is strange to have a huge portion of life entirely self centered, focused only on what I want, then my priorities shifted and I found myself traveling the roads of family responsibilities, church service, and work. While traveling these essential roads of life we occasionally forget to pace ourselves or refuel! When the destination is far from sight, we want to accelerate and disregard the speed limits. Who wants to check the air in the tires? Stopping for gas will delay our arrival.


It is invigorating to unlock that door to the world I loved and embraced, that world of youth, filled with achievement and obvious personal successes. Everyone knows that distant travels require proper car maintenance and regular refueling. Failure to provide physical and spiritual fuel will result in delay and may ultimately prevent us from reaching our desired destination. As time has passed a few of the physical and mental manifestations of years of fortitude, and physical diligence have dimmed. Some of that zest for goal setting and personal achievements have been dwarfed by my mountains of familial responsibility. Can't I have both worlds?

It is well within us to fuse the true joys of the current world of family and spiritual fulfillment with the old world full of self fulfillment and personal accomplishment. Self Actualization is a driving life force that will ultimately lead to maximizing one's abilities and determine the path of one's life. As we properly care for all aspects of our development we will maximize our talents and achieve ultimate happiness.

There is no shortcut to true happiness. There is no end to the amount of work required to reach that desired paradise. Why not enjoy the air conditioning and radio along the way? When taking a long trip it only makes sense to pack snacks and rest when necessary. Play games. Sing Songs. Take pictures. We get so obsessed with reaching the destination that we forget to enjoy the journey. If you get there first, but all that is left is a one armed, one legged, five haired, shell of a person, will it be worth it? No! Let's take the time to enjoy the journey, meet our needs, and develop ourselves. As we do, there will be far more we can give, more joy to share, and everyone will arrive happily at the desired destination. Time to stop kicking and screaming, shouting from behind the wheel, "who's driving this thing?" I am setting goals, and taking time for myself.

Take a look in your rear view mirror. Are you the driver or are you the person laying in the road that you just drove over with your SUV? It is time to make sure we are doing what is necessary to make ourselves truly happy. What is keeping you from true happiness? Do you have the courage to capture it?